The Worst Story in the Bible

Thanks in part to Jen Wilkin, for giving me the courage to write this.

Well, with an opener like that, who really wants to keep reading? Actually, there are more contenders for this infamous title than one might expect – apparently humanity is sinful and makes terrible decisions (hello, Judges) – and I consider this open to debate. But I’ve been reading the Bible for myself for upwards of 20 years at this point, and to my recollection this account leaves me somewhat sick, depressed, and angry all at the same time. Every. Single. Time. I’m talking about 2 Samuel 13, and David’s son Amnon. Go read it. I’ll wait.

Great. Now you’ve read it, you’re probably also a little depressed, and you’re ready to hear why I think it’s the worst story in the Bible. (What? You didn’t go read it? That’s ok; I wouldn’t have either. Cliff’s notes: Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar and treated her like garbage; David ignored it; her full brother Absalom told her not to take it seriously; and she died a desolate woman.) Chances are I probably don’t really need to expound on why it’s the worst, but I will. 

It’s not the rape, actually, although that is stomach-turning. Rather, it’s the response to it. One would think that David – the man chosen by God to rule over His people, the one in whom resides almost all the power in the country (almost, because we see that Nathan the prophet and the priests have some too), the man after God’s own heart – would become righteously angry and throw down a consequence. Surely the daughter of the king would be able to see justice done. But we don’t see that. Verse 21 tells us that David was angry, but he didn’t do anything because he loved Amnon. Absalom’s immediate response was about as bad – don’t take it seriously; he’s your brother. What kind of response is that?! To his credit, he did provide her a home (v20), and he named his daughter after her (14:27). He also did some seriously long-term plotting, as we’ll see in a bit. Tamar’s response too is disheartening; she wept and mourned, and lived out her days desolate, and quite likely isolated, in her brother’s house. I don’t actually fault her for that, especially taking into account the culture. It’s bad enough in current times, with the support and help that women have available. Rape victims are generally expected to respond in one of two ways, either despondency and despair, or harsh and defiant independence. The independence wasn’t really an option for her then. So yes, it’s disheartening, but it’s at least somewhat understandable. 

David’s response seems lackluster at best. His “love” for Amnon outweighed his righteous anger, and so he did nothing. We’re told in Proverbs 3 that fathers discipline the sons in whom they delight, and Hebrews 12 indicates that the only sons who don’t receive discipline are illegitimate. These would seem to indicate that David didn’t truly love Amnon as a son. Three things I see that could influence his decision here (not to excuse him, because I can’t and wouldn’t if I could, but to understand more fully): Amnon was David’s firstborn, and that came with a measure of special privilege. All three of David’s children appear to be adults at this point, or at least close to it. Finally, perhaps David’s past also influenced his silence. Just two chapters earlier, in 2 Samuel 11, David saw a beautiful woman, wanted her, and took her. How can he reprove his son for doing the exact same thing? 

In truth, it is because of this very thing that David was probably best poised to reprimand Amnon. He knew first-hand, deeply and personally, the profound consequences of such a sin, and described them for us in Psalms 38, 32, and 51. But like many parents today, who think that because they once engaged in unwise behavior (partook of illicit substances, slept around, smoked, drank, skipped class, fill in with whatever you want) they can’t possibly tell their children to not follow in their footsteps, David was silent even after the fact. 

I wonder too if perhaps David’s lack of response set the stage for Absalom’s conspiracy against him and temporary takeover of the kingdom. After two years of plotting and hating Amnon, Absalom finally took vengeance (interestingly enough, with the knowledge of, if not outright assistance from, Amnon’s co-conspirator Jonadab) and killed Amnon. It was after this that Absalom fled and lived with his mother’s people for three years, and even after David allowed him to return to Jerusalem, he was not allowed into the king’s presence for two additional years. Shortly thereafter, Absalom stole the hearts of the people and declared himself king. Had David worked justice for his daughter in the first place, there would have been no need for Absalom to kill Amnon, and there would have been no exile either. Five years is more than enough time for bitterness and resentment – of one who should have taken action but did not – to take root. 

So what can we learn from this, the worst story in the Bible? One thing that stands out to me is that silence in the face of evil helps no one. It doesn’t help the victim, it doesn’t help the perpetrator, and it doesn’t help those who witness it either. What silence does do is allow evil to thrive, and to isolate all. Though words don’t possess the power to heal all things and resolve all issues, they are indeed incredibly powerful. Simple or trite though they may seem, words such as “That shouldn’t have happened”, “That behavior isn’t pleasing to God”, or “me too”, when spoken genuinely, have the power to break down barriers and let in the light. Ephesians 5:11 tells us to expose the unfruitful works of darkness, and we can’t do that by sitting in silence. Breaking the silence breaks the power of guilt and shame. So speak up. 

The other thing I see highlighted by this account is the need for better. We need a better king than David, who did not pursue justice.. We need a better father than David, who stood by in silence. We need a better comforter than Absalom. We need Jesus. We need God. We need the Holy Spirit. Thankfully, we serve a good and gracious God who has already given us all that we need, Himself.