Disclaimer and total honesty: I’ve been staring at my screen for three days, and these thoughts on friendship just are not coalescing into a good post. You get my rambling and disconnected thoughts anyway.
“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” (Proverbs 13:20). These words have echoed in my mind often over the last few weeks and months.
As we emerge from quarantines and stay-at-home/shelter-in-place orders and slowly begin to resume our “normal” lives (because as we all know, everything’s back to normal just like *that*), friendships might be one of the areas calling for a greater degree of scrutiny. With whom are we actually spending a significant amount of time? Whose influence is weighty in our lives, and do they deserve that place? To whom do we listen, and in what relationships are we investing? What should we change moving forward?
We also can’t just be sponges though, soaking up all the advice and counsel from our wise friends and hoarding it. We need to pass that on, and really shouldn’t just ditch all our friends that we deem to be less wise than ourselves. 1, that’s a harsh judgment that has a high potential to foster arrogance; and 2, I don’t think that’s good stewardship of a good gift from our good Father.
This verse has also prompted a good deal of reflection on the number of people who have walked alongside me and poured out their wisdom for my benefit. I almost hesitate to specify because there are so many I could list, but the highlights from the last 20 years include KS, R(M)S, KS, DF, and SH. These friendships are cherished treasures more precious than gold and their commitment to my growth is staggering. Further, these names and the accompanying faces inspire me to not only walk more wisely myself, but to also be open and available to those who might need a slightly wiser companion for whatever period of time.
For a short but deep resource on Biblical friendship, consider The Company We Keep, by Jonathan Holmes.
Friendship is a hard topic to deal with. We are surrounded by aquaintances but few friends. I admit that growing up a few “friends” led me on the wrong path. Sometimes a true friend knows us better than family and we can tell him or her things that we don’t tell even our parents or siblings. They influence us as we influence them, the hard part is knowing that it should always be for each others enrichment in life and uplifting in spirit. Life can be hard sometimes but having a friend or friends close by that you can trust and rely on, even just to be silent and not say a word, is a blessing (Ecclesiastes 4:12). Thank you for again bringing things in focus that we need to hear.