One of the books I’m reading this year is a daily devotional comprised of selections from the works of C. S. Lewis. It’s likely never going to be my favorite of his works – there’s a thing called context that adds significant meaning and emphasis, and much of it is missing in a book such as this – but it has served to at least pique my interest in some of his other books. One of the passages chosen for this week is taken from The Four Loves, and I found it at first humorous, but then quite accurate.
The context is a wider discussion on “Affection”, in what ways it differs from other kinds of love, and how in it and through it we are stretched and our capacity to appreciate people with personalities that are not necessarily “to our taste”. The sentence that has stood in my mind since then is this: “They are themselves, odder than you could have believed and worth far more than we guessed.”
Two things in particular drove this home to me, and really they’re two aspects of the same thing: I was reminded recently of the feeling of liberation and freedom that accompanies time spent with those whose company requires no pretense or masks. There are some with whom there is no need to hide the full extent of our oddities, and such friendship is sweet indeed. Though we are odd in different ways, yet we can enjoy and appreciate each other, and there is freedom in that.
The other aspect is that we – or I, at any rate – have a tendency to discount the value of relationships. I’ve often approached them, however subconsciously and unintentionally, as though they are optional. Nice to have, on occasion, but unnecessary to a rich and full life. This reminded me of how priceless a true friend is, and the most rewarding can be those who started as not really to our taste. It’s not that person changed, but that our taste matured and developed.
All in all, I’m thankful both for time with friends who embrace my oddities and reveal theirs to me, and for the reminder that such relationships are truly worth more than gold.