Gracious Response: A Practical Follow-up

Last week I shared a few cautionary thoughts on how we relate to and interact with each other, particularly on the internet. If you missed that post, or need a refresher, I’d encourage you to pause right now and go read it again, because today I want to take a look at two areas in particular in which we need to be prepared to offer grace and charitable thoughts to one another. Surprise (or not), those areas are our response to Covid and related precautionary measures, and our choice of presidential candidate in the upcoming election (or politics in general). I’m far from the first to think or write about either of these, and also far from the most eloquent; sometimes (often) we need to hear things multiple times before we really understand them or take them to heart. So tonight, I’ll add my voice and move all of us a little closer to integrating them to whatever extent is appropriate into our daily lives.

Recap of last week: we see only what’s written, not the motive or thought process behind it. Further, the only tone we can hear as we read internet postings (even this one!) is the tone that we ourselves as readers inject while we read. That leaves immense room for misunderstanding, misinterpretation, and miscommunication; before reacting, we’d be wise to pause and remember that the Lord sees the heart and motive behind the words, and we do not. As we do respond, it’d be further wise to take a posture of grace and humility and gentleness rather than a combative approach riddled with arrogance and approach. Let’s walk through what that might look like in the realm of pandemic response, and after that we’ll consider politics.

First, there are a couple responses that are clearly not gracious, and they can come from either side.* “If you don’t wear a mask in public, you’re a plague rat who has zero consideration for others and who is 100% ok with the death of anyone with whom you might have passing contact. Also, anyone whose advice you’re taking is doing science wrong.” “If you wear a mask in public, you’re making decisions based on fear and overblown worst case scenarios. Also, anyone whose advice you’re taking is doing science wrong.” “There’s no reason to not continue living our lives as we always have, and if you don’t go to every party and every store and every possible activity, that’s your foolish decision and you’ll probably die (from boredom).” “There’s no reason to leave the house, and if you don’t utilize every grocery delivery, curbside pickup, and restaurant delivery option possible, that’s your foolish decision and you’ll probably die (from Covid).” Assumptions and judgments like these abound, and they’re really not helpful. A more gracious attitude, a mindset that believes the best about another until proven otherwise, might look like “I’m not comfortable joining you on that excursion, but I’d love to catch up on the phone”. It might be an acknowledgement, even a silent one, that others have different needs than you, prioritizing physical safety over the mental and emotional boost of physical proximity and contact, or vice versa. Rather than an aggressive comment, it might be just a statement that these are weird and difficult times for all of us to navigate, or the mental note that both those who wear masks in public – and also those who do not – might have underlying medical conditions that drive their decisions. Hopefully, enough people have been writing and talking about a more gracious attitude towards a difference in pandemic response that we’re at the tail end of these ridiculous, overly broad characterizations.

Realistically though, we’re probably just now getting started with them when it comes to politics. Here’s a fact we all seem to have trouble remembering at various points: there is no Christian political party. There might be parties that have historically more closely represented Christian values more than others, but history doesn’t guarantee anything for the present or the future. 12-year-old me would be utterly flabbergasted to find out that genuine, Bible-believing Christians can, in fact, vote for Democratic candidates and policies. Rather than assuming that anyone who might vote for a Democrat cares nothing at all about the murder of unborn humans via abortion; that anyone who votes for a Republican doesn’t care about Social Security, Medicare, or any other social safety net program; or that anyone who votes third party is stupid and throwing their vote away, believing the best about someone until proven otherwise might entail an acknowledgement, even if only to ourselves, that they’ve probably thought through these things carefully. It might mean that we recognize the effort and consideration and soul-searching (and hopefully Bible-searching, if a believer) that went into a decision, and remember that we all have priorities and expectations that are at the very least slightly different. And that’s ok. 

I’ve seen and heard all of these accusations being thrown around by those who not only call themselves Christians, but whose salvation I have no reason to question.** More than anyone, we as the Church need to take a breath – several, actually – and give our fellow brothers and sisters the benefit of the doubt. Believe the best about them until they prove otherwise – and even if they prove otherwise, we can still be gentle and gracious in our interactions. 

These are tough decisions and hard priorities to balance and uncomfortable conversations to have, even when they’re “only” conversations we have with ourselves. Now more than ever, though, they’re necessary. Don’t back away just because it’s difficult; engage with humility and grace and kindness.

*These are compilations and paraphrases of a number of responses I personally have seen, heard, or read.

**Remember, the Lord sees the heart, not us; I can’t conclusively say they’re believers, but I don’t have reason to doubt the genuineness of their faith.