Better Than Silence

Last week I wrote a little bit about 2 Samuel 13 (it can be found here if you missed it or need a refresher), and one of the major things we learned from the account of Amnon and Tamar is that silence cannot be our response. So today, I wanted to highlight three organizations that are shining a light into the darkness and speaking into the silence of shame that surrounds sexual assault, and also briefly consider how we as individuals might respond differently.

The first organization is Fieldstone Counseling, located in Green, Ohio. Although they offer biblically based counseling for any issue, they also have a program specifically for women who have been abused. Restoried is a 6-week online support group designed to help participants work through the lingering pain and doubts of trauma, learn to see God as He truly is, and move from a place of harm to a place of healing. The current round started earlier in July; contact Fieldstone for information on future sessions or to provide a scholarship for participants.

The second is the Alliance Rape Crisis Program, a service provided by CommQuest. One of the things I really appreciate about this program is the immediate, practical (and free) help they offer, through a hotline and hospital and court/legal advocacy, as well as counseling. They also have resources for the friends and family members of assault survivors, and are involved with community outreach and education. Monetary donations are accepted; the state does require any volunteers to complete advocacy training. This program specifically is local to Alliance, in Stark County, but programs for other locations can be found at http://www.oaesv.org/.

Finally, Mercy House Global owns and operates two maternity homes, called Rehema House, for teens in desperate situations in Nairobi, Kenya. Pregnant teens are often not allowed to attend school, and whether the pregnancy is the result of assault or prostitution, Mercy House offers a safe home, medical care, education, life and vocation training, and counseling to its residents. Ways to help include sponsoring a resident or graduate, donating to the general fund or purchasing something from their wish list, shopping on the Mercy House Fair Trade store, and volunteering on site at their headquarters in Magnolia, TX. 

As I was researching these organizations a bit, I had the pleasure of a conversation with the Alliance Rape Crisis Program Director Gina Bowers, and she shared good and helpful wisdom regarding how our responses, whether to our own story or that of those around us, can set the stage for healing and growth in the face of shame. For the co-survivors – we who are the family and friends of a victim of assault: our primary job is to support from a posture of belief, not from one of skepticism or judgment (which actually places blame on the victim, however unintentionally). Words like “I believe you” and “How can I help you?”, particularly from those with whom the story is first shared, can reduce and minimize effects such as PTSD, and enable faster emotional recovery. For those who are victims: regardless of the passage of time or extent of assault, your experience is valid and important. There will always be a worse or more horrific story of assault in the news, but the details of someone else’s story don’t negate the validity of yours. Everyone has a right to healing.

In the face of overwhelming suffering such as we see today across the globe, the thought of making an impact can seem daunting at best, if not impossible. But through these organizations, and our own words, we can make a difference in each story of shame that we encounter. May the Lord give each one of us courage to break cycles, to speak words of hope and comfort, and to shine the light of the gospel into the darkness of shame around us.