“Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” If we ever needed to keep something in constant view, it might be this sentence from 1 Samuel 16 in the middle of a pandemic-induced quarantine coinciding with a presidential election.
As humans, we’re really good at judging people. We come by it honestly; it’s part of how we’re made in the image of God. We’re actually really bad at judging people rightly though. Particularly on social media, there’s a tendency to see a statement of any kind, and assume we know exactly what’s going on and why that person said that and what their end goal is. We might also then make some further assumptions about their faith, the sincerity with which they hold any kind of religious beliefs, the extent of their education on the issue at hand, and/or their priorities. The end result then is often two-fold: it tends to fuel self-righteousness in our own hearts (because of course our own priorities are always perfectly placed!) and it also tends to degrade our respect and estimation of them as people and peers. The truth is though that we really probably don’t have a clue about any of that. All we know is our interpretation of what we’ve seen, heavily influenced by prior experience and our own level of knowledge and priorities. We see the outward appearance.
Too, the distance invoked by social media lends many of us a false bravado. I think (and hope) the majority of harsh comments and responses I’ve seen would never be said in a face-to-face conversation. Whatever mental filters we might have in place that allow us, however subconsciously, to follow social norms and adhere to the unspoken “contracts” of social interactions are largely not present in our digital interactions.
As we go about our internet scrolling and posting, we would do well to offer others the benefit of the doubt. Voicing support for X, whatever candidate, policy, or organization that may be, probably doesn’t mean that they don’t care about Y. It means that they support X, and caustic judgment heaped upon them isn’t going to change their mind. Before leaping to conclusions about motive and priorities, it’d be wise to verify. What makes you think that? What specifically do you like about X? What do you dislike about the alternative? Ask the question! At a minimum, you’ll learn something about someone you presumably care about, at least marginally (because none of us would ever get into an internet argument with a total stranger……..right?), and you might even have your own perspective broadened.
This is particularly important within the church, and not “just” on a global or national level. Differences of opinion in regards to politics and legislation, and apparently even pandemic response, really threaten the unity of the church, and much of that divisiveness is not rooted in theological differences.
The next few months of internet content, particularly on social media, hold high potential to be filled with vitriol, condemnation, and anger. We have the opportunity to change that in our small corner of the internet, by remembering that the Lord knows their motives and their hearts and we do not, and allowing our responses to be influenced by that. It’s probably a superhuman task, but with the Lord’s help, we can respond, not just react, and do so with thoughtfulness, grace, and kindness.
Years ago, before the internet, the newspapers usually reported the facts, if you wanted an opinion, you read the letter to the editor. It seems now the reverse is true. So many people taking so much time to voice their opinions, sometimes harshly, without knowing or even caring about the facts. If only they could see the rest of the story (Paul Harvey), people might be more understanding. You are correct in stating that we need to respond with Gods’ love and patience and kindness (Eph 4;32) to all people, even though that can be hard sometimes.
It’s been hard to decide if I need to be more vocal or less. I could write ten pages here on this topic. Hannah, you nailed some important communication and relational issues. And yet, I am reluctant to engage in discussion with others and it is all so tiring and frustrating and discouraging. Would the hard work be worth it, for my heart and theirs? Today I feel just like crawling back into bed and burrowing under the covers. Other days I am a little more optimistic. Playing doll house with my granddaughters this morning was the best medicine — all make believe and we could control all the people!