I’ve been thinking over the last few weeks and months about friendship. Often, we don’t realize the impact particular people have on our lives until they no longer fill that role, and I’m not sure how to change that and recognize those influences while they’re still around.
How exactly does one measure friendship? We’ve probably all used the phrase “best friend” at some point; what is it that makes some friends just friends, and others best friends? I could categorize in a few ways – those who have known me X number of years, the ones I text when I have existential-level questions, the ones that have held space for me countless times and I know would do so again in an instant. Which of those are best friends, and which are just friends? How does one differentiate or discern between true friends who ground you and call you back to who you truly are when you’ve forgotten or have wandered, and false friends who see any kind of change as detrimental; or between true friends who celebrate growth and development, and false friends who see constancy as stagnation? I don’t really have any answers; these are just things I’ve been considering.
I’m reminded of those long-lasting friendships every time I hear certain songs – Kathy Mattea’s “Standing Knee-Deep in a River”, and Dolly Parton & Kenny Roger’s “You Can’t Make Old Friends”, to name a couple. Sometimes we have moments of clarity and see these “old friends” in the making, but most of the time, it’s only in hindsight. Regardless, both true friends and old friends are true gifts from the Lord – good gifts from a good Father, who knows what His children need.
Both of those songs tell it like it is. I especially like your choice in country artists! I think our perception of friendship may change as we change and grow older, and I hope wiser. Great reminder that all of our friends are gifts from God.
PS Don’t forget “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” by Randy Newman