The Origin Story

We’re all familiar with the idea of an origin story, I would guess: the dramatic and often traumatic background that forms the foundation on which a superhero is formed. I’m not claiming to be a superhero, but I do posit that each of us has an origin story of sorts – some giant and extraordinary moments, yes, but also the smaller things that make us who we are and direct in some fashion the course of our lives.

I can trace this iteration of who I am back to a few moments in particular. The first one occurred with the intersection of two different Bible passages. Our mid-week Bible study was on Romans a couple of years ago, and it “just so happened” (the author of Judges would have used the word “behold” right there) that at the same time we were studying Romans 12, I also was in the midst of memorizing the book of 1 Peter and had come to chapter 4 (more on extended memorization in a future post). Both of these passages – Romans 12:3-8 and I Peter 4: 10-11 – address spiritual gifting, and both are clear that spiritual gifts are manifestations of God’s grace. As I studied these two sections, it became increasingly clear to me that to fail to use one’s spiritual gifts, particularly for the good of the local church, is to squander the grace of God. Squander. Spend frivolously. Fritter away. The Lord convicted me, and rightly so, through these passages that this is how I was treating His grace. At that time I didn’t even know what my spiritual gifts are. I can’t begin to describe how heavily that hit me; I only knew that something had to change.

The first step seemed to be pretty obvious: identify what my spiritual gifts are. I recalled from conversations literally years prior that my dad recommended a particular spiritual gift inventory (similar to a highly-specific and more reliable personality test), and tracked that down. (It’s available for free here.) The results were pretty clear, and subsequently confirmed by those who know me best: my gifting lies in the areas of knowledge and teaching. So that was one item checked off a list of sorts: now I know what they are, but what’s next? What do I do with that knowledge? And really, what place is there in the local church for a woman who’s gifted in teaching? Are we relegated to Sunday School? Even were I to believe that it is theologically ok for a woman to preach in a Sunday morning pulpit, the local churches that hold to that view are more liberal in other areas than I am. So the question became not just is there a place in a local church, but is there a place in my local church, in Parkside Green?

All of that occurred in January. Truthfully, I didn’t have any answers, and it seemed self-aggrandizing to ask the pastors and elders, “Hey, I’m a teacher. What can I teach?” More to the point, that’s simply not my personality. So I “just” prayed for the Lord to make it clear to me, to open my eyes and show me where my gifts were needed, and to make me willing to use them in whatever capacity He had planned for me. That was my prayer through the rest of that winter, the spring, the summer, and into the fall, which is when the Lord started to make things a little clearer.

The summarized version is that since that time just over two years ago, I have on various occasions “pinch hit” as a facilitator for our small group Bible study, organized a women’s ministry event, been the sole facilitator, taught a portion of a summer book study, co-facilitated the small group, and taught a couple sessions of the Bible study. Although it’s not been an extraordinarily great length of time, I’ve reaped the rewards of obedience to the Lord’s calling despite personal discomfort. With each seemingly small step along the way, He has proven Himself faithful and provided strength, courage, and insight throughout.

This blog is merely the next step of obedience. My vision is that it will serve as an electronic home for what’s been prepared for other settings, and as a way to easily respond to requests for a copy from those who couldn’t make the “live” version or want a second look. And if the Lord wants it to be something other than that, then it will be and that will be ok. You can sign up to receive an emailed notification when I update, if you so desire, by entering your email address in the subscription field over to the side. Thanks for reading along with me on this journey, and huge thanks also to the friends who have encouraged me throughout the entire process.