It’s getting to be that time again, the one known to many not so much as “the most wonderful time of the year”, but rather “the most stressful time of the year”. The 5 weeks or so stretching from Thanksgiving through to the first of the new year can be some of the most challenging weeks of the entire year to navigate, for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it’s financial stress; Christmas presents can get expensive, and it’s easy to go over budget (or skip the budget altogether, which I do not recommend). Sometimes the stress is due less to the financial aspect and more to the logistics of gift-giving/buying, especially if gifts isn’t your love language but is that of one or more of your loved ones. Some people – usually those whose love language is gifts – always find the perfect gift, and some of us just…..don’t, and that can add a significant measure of stress. Relational difficulties pile up on top of that, whether with more extended family members whom you might see only at these special occasions or with immediate family with whom daily tension has become the norm. That this stretch is literally the darkest of the year, in the northern hemisphere anyway, adds an additional layer of complexity. All told, if this isn’t what you would consider the most wonderful time of the year, you’re far from alone.
There are many things I could say about this. I could encourage you – and me, really – to buck up and push through it. It’s only 5 weeks, 10% of the year. Surely we can hold it together for 40 days. And sometimes that’s the “right” answer. I could tell you to say no to everything and skip it altogether, and if you were waiting for someone else to give you permission, I’ll do that. You have permission to skip whatever needs to be skipped so you can make it through.
For most of us though, the answer is not in one extreme (push through it and do everything) or the other (do nothing). The answer lies somewhere in the middle, and finding the right balance calls for discernment, which is often lost when we’re under stress. To reiterate what I say just about every year: this isn’t the time to let self-care slide. Take the time to drink the coffee, get the exercise, take a nap, have the conversation, read the book, whatever it is that you normally do to keep yourself balanced. It just might make the difference and give you the clarity of thought needed to discern when you need to push through and when to say no.
I love your practical and common sense approach. I agree that this time of year can be more stressful, only if we let it. Enjoy friends and family, but don’t forget to take care of yourself. Thanks for the reminder.
The gift giving stress for me stems from my internal and impossible idea that the choice of gift is a reflection of my care for and special knowledge of the person. And yet, the holiday season has its charms (like pretty lights outside, special Christmas ornaments, and cookies😁) and its spiritual significance which, as you know, is the reason for the season. I love pondering God With Us.