One of the lesser known facts about our family dynamics is that of the two adults, I’m the bigger sports fan. That doesn’t mean that I’m a raging fanatic, only that if any kind of sporting event is playing in our house, it’s because I turned it on. Similar to my tastes in reading, where I have my preferred and oft-read genres but branch out into whatever’s available, I have my preferred sport – women’s soccer – but branch out on occasion if there’s something else readily at hand (like the Olympics). With the amount of digital data that’s typically gathered and the algorithms that process that data to suggest news stories and developments, it’s no surprise that women’s soccer is a prominent feature in my news feed. One thing I’ve noticed over the last few years is that whenever there’s the slightest bit of controversy around the national soccer team (USWNT), media outlets are always quick to request comments, interviews, and reactions from one former player in particular. There’s a certain logic to that to be sure: she was once part of that system; she has intimate knowledge of the players involved, as several of her former teammates are still playing; former players are generally better equipped to analyze games and coaching decisions; and so forth. However, it seems that the real reason this particular individual is so often contacted is because she can be counted on to stir the pot. Regardless of subject at hand – equal pay, the way opponents played, the performance of the USWNT, political activism and athletes, and more; none of which I’m actually going to address today (or likely ever) – she’s developed a reputation for “straight talking” – which is really a screen for harsh – sometimes to the point of excoriating – and bitter criticism, whether or not it may be deserved. There’s her reputation in a nutshell: a brilliant player, and one who holds most of the records for her position, but abrasive, dismissive, and outspoken to the point of divisiveness.
As I scrolled past the most recent comments in my news feed this week, it sparked some ruminations about our reputations as Christians, both individually and as the church at large. It’s more socially acceptable if we utilize phrases such as “tell it like it is”, “speak the truth”, and “blunt”. I think there’s room to tell it like it is with gentleness and respect, and the truth is often spoken at the expense of the love that is supposed to accompany, per Ephesians 4:15. If we look at what all of Scripture has to say about our words – and it’s a lot – we see that our speech should be rooted in honesty and fact, but tempered with grace and love. That should be the reputation that precedes us. There’s no need to be harsh and unnecessarily brash, but there’s also no place for flattery and insincerity.
One practical example we have of this is in Acts 24. When the Jews falsely accused Paul before Felix, the contrast between how Tertullus, speaking on behalf of the Jews, and Paul each addressed Felix is startling (Acts 24:2-3, 10). Tertullus lauded the “most excellent Felix”, whom secular authors described as cruel, licentious, and base; Paul simply acknowledges that Felix has ruled for some time. No flattery, no insincerity, but no needless offense given either, however truthfully the statements would have been.
As you live your life over the week to come, I would encourage you to take some time to think about what reputation your words and speech patterns are building for you. Will your coworkers come to you when they’re looking for a sharp critique of another colleague or the boss? Is the witty retort, truthful but not necessarily kind or gracious, the first thing on your lips?
A few verses to meditate on as you consider; there are truly a multitude more, but these are a good start:
Proverbs 12:18 – “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Proverbs 15:4 – “A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.”
Colossians 4:6 – “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”
Ephesians 4:29 – “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”