The Balancing Act of Holiday Survival

I don’t know about you, but I’m already a bit weary. The stretch between Thanksgiving and Christmas always feels simultaneously too long and too short – far too many days, but also far too many activities. So it seemed an appropriate time to talk about how to survive the holidays relatively intact. (And to be clear, I’m talking mostly to myself here. You can listen in if you want.)

• First, Jesus. Nothing matters more than Jesus, and as a dear friend reminded me recently, if you miss Jesus, you’ve missed it all. 
• Get on the same page as your spouse. Don’t skip this. Revisit it often if necessary. You’re a team, and you need to work together on this one. You don’t have to do every little thing together, but plan out gift budget expectations, work out party schedules or whatever you have going on, as a team.
• Say no. A lot. Say no to whatever unnecessarily adds to your stress: the office Secret Santa, the white elephant exchange, the long list of people to buy for, the expectations foisted upon you by other people, the extensive decorating, the party you really don’t want to attend, even the traveling on Christmas Day. Just say no. (There’s high probability they’ll call you a hater or something similar for doing this. Do it anyway. Embrace it, and tell them you legally change your middle name to “Scrooge” on the day after Thanksgiving every year, and you’ve yet to be visited by any ghosts.) Don’t apologize for what you cut out. 
• Figure out what brings you joy, and say yes to that. If this conflicts with the above, you’ll have to figure out whether the joy outweighs the stress.
• As you’re saying no, be kind. Be kind to yourself, and to those around you. Love covers a multitude of sins, yes, but also a multitude of burned cookies, forgotten tasks, meltdowns, and ridiculous traffic.
• Plan ahead so you don’t have to set foot in a store for the 7-10 days, or at least the 3 days, immediately preceding Christmas, especially with your kids.
• Still care for yourself. Eat right, exercise, drink the coffee, whatever it is that keeps you (mostly) sane all year round. You need it even more this time of year.

It’s a balancing act. Eliminating the stress of a party may mean disappointing others, which brings its own stress. You can cut out a lot of “unnecessary” things, but the fact remains, the holidays are a lot of extra demands on our budgets and time and energy levels, and many ordinary things can’t be cut out. We still have jobs, and laundry, and dishes, and heaven help us, we all still need to eat for some reason. (I would cut out all food-related things permanently, given half a chance.) You can’t have everything and do everything. If you need to buy the cookies and pie for the party to maintain balance, do it. If you need to straight up skip the party, you can do that too (because clearly you were just waiting for my permission, right?). Do what you need to do to maintain balance.

Finally, there’s a whole lot of heartache and grief and suffering in this world, and holidays often make that more prominent rather than less. Jesus came for that. From the beginning, the promise has always been that it will not always be so. One day there will be full and complete restoration, and Jesus came to bring that restoration. Even when it feels like there’s nothing to celebrate, we can celebrate that.

Credit and many thanks to Suzanne H, Carley Ann B, and Marjie B for helping me figure out how to survive in the first place, and for their contributions to this post.